Sunday, 1 August 2010
"introduction"
Nowadays, obesity is one of the major problem of the world populations. It can leads to many severe health problems such as hypertension and coronary heart attack. Though, obesity had become worsen among Malaysians.There are several factors that contribute to obesity, namely, genetic defects, bad lifestyles and surrounding environment influences.
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thesis statement: clear, good
ReplyDeletesome minor mistakes
1.Nowadays, obesity is one of the major problems of the world's population.
2.It can lead to many severe health problems such as hypertension and coronary heart attack.
3.Futhermore, obesity has worsen among Malaysians.
thank you.
ReplyDeleteClear thesis statement
ReplyDeletewow... gud thesis statement...
ReplyDeletemake me jealous, because u are praised by miss... huhu..
but there are mistakes in your sentence...
same like me...
huhuhu...
yeah..we are in the process of learning...
ReplyDeleteso, mistake is common..keep on improving..:)